Another Reddit Post Answer
I am so sick of my mother acting like I can still see!
My vision is 20/400 I'm functionally blind, but can still see. I do pretty well navigating the world with low vision to the extent most people don't realize I can't see, but I'm still functionally blind. I've been like this for 3 years now and was steadily losing vision before that for years.
My awful excuse for a mother can't get it through her head that I can't see anything. She's been with me to eye doctors appointments. She's well aware I'm functionally blind. But MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY this woman still holds things up across the room and expects me to look at the object and respond to it. Asks me to go look for something in another room. Or do tasks that generally require vision that I don't have! Then she has the audacity to get mad at me for not being able to see!
I'm so over it. I've mostly come to terms with my very low vision. It doesn't bother me too much. I can accommodate and cope with it just fine. Except for my mother. Her constantly insisting I do things that require vision actually makes me frustrated that I can't see. My blindness doesn't bother me until I'm around her. I genuinely don't know what her problem is. I don't know if she truly manages to forget multiple times a day that I am blind, every day, for 3 years. If she doesn't believe I'm blind despite having gone to the doctor with me. Or if she hates that I'm blind and this is her way of punishing me for it.
I'm also currently learning braille as my vision continues to lessen and she's objected to this and said it's unnecessary. I can still see within 3" of my face so she says I don't need it and shouldn't spend my time learning it. I don't necessarily want to have to be within 3" of something to read it. I really don't want to be that close to a sign on the wall. And it's a lot of strain on my eyes still to be able to focus and see that close.
I'm exhausted. I'm tired of getting frustrated and upset over my vision only because it's a problem to her that I don't have it. I'm tired of the physical strain on my eyes and brain that comes from trying to interpret what I'm seeing in a way that requires more visual information than I have. I can't keep dealing with her.
Has anyone dealt with someone who refuses to accept that you can't see? How do you handle them? I honestly never would have believed that someone would refuse to accept another person can't see and constantly demand them to be able to see things. That's an insane concept. But my mother is the kind of horrible it will never cease to surprise you.
This one hurts to read.
Some people underestimate my eyesight. Others overestimate it.
And no matter how much I try to explain it the underestimaters still underestimate and the overestimaters still overestimate. At first I thought I just sucked at explaining but now I think something else is at play.
I wonder if it's a coping mechanism. People who underestimate my vision may have a miniature savior complex thing going on, something in them requires me to need their help because they have an unmet need to feel needed.
People like your mother are on the other side of the pendulum. They are in denial. Maybe their belief system insists that the Universe is fair so a good person cannot possibly be blind. By being a good blind person you're reminding her the Universe does not recognize human conventional wisdom or right and wrong. It doesn't matter if your mom wears her seat belt, says her prayers, or takes her Vitamin C - in a Universe where blindness happens to good people nothing she can do makes her safe from bad things happening to her. Maybe it's just easier to believe you can see than to confront her helplessness and mortality.
The point is this - some people need to believe their own narratives about our blindness because they simply aren't ready to face the truth.
I know you're venting. I know you're pissed off. You have every right to be. Just try to remember she's just as blind to your blindness as you are to whatever object she's holding up from across the room. Your attempts to get her to see your blindness won't be any more productive than her attempts to get you to see a price tag in the grocery store.
Don't take it personally. I know it's easier said than done. I'm not trying to sound flippant or condescending and I apologize if I sound that way. But if your mother hasn't changed after all these years of evidence she's not going to if you present her with more evidence. If she's still convincing herself you can see then this is about her, not about you.
You have to live with it but you don't have to internalize it.
Be strong, my friend.
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