How Blind is Blind?

This first part is a response to a question from a Redditor on r/Blind. I've lightly edited it (I know, right?) to conceal details of the Redditor's specific visual limitations.

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If the loss of your vision is progressive it's very hard to know when you've reached the point of being blind enough to claim it. When the change is so gradual you don't notice it happening it seems phony to say "Yesterday I wasn't blind but today I am." It feels even more opportunistic to claim it when there's something in it for you.

Everyone who's ever gone blind gradually has been there. You're not alone.

You're an honest person - otherwise this wouldn't be bothering you. You want to keep it real about your vision. That's understandable. And you don't want a hand out meant for someone really blind. That's good. I respect that.

It feels wrong to pick and choose when to claim you're blind based on what you can get for free out of it. But the alternative - accepting your blindness in all cases and situations - feels even more dishonest when you still have enough functioning eyesight to live a mostly normal life. This is exactly the kind of thing I want sighted people to understand about us.

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Most of us think of Cleopatra's life and the construction of the pyramids in Egypt were contemporary events but the pyramids were built 3,000 years before Cleopatra, who lived 2,000 years ago. She lived closer to our time than to the time the pyramids were being built.

We think Tyrannosaurus-Rex and Stegosaurus crossed paths, but T-Rex lived closer to today than to Stegosaurus' time. T-Rex died out about 65 million years ago but Steggy died out about 200 million years ago.

Most of us think we know what blindness is, too. But just like our assumptions about Cleopatra and the dinosaurs, much of what we've picked up from movies and TV is inaccurate. So inaccurate, in fact, that when we're presented with the truth our first reaction is to say to ourselves "No, that can't be right" just like we did with Cleopatra and T-Rex.

Blind people often struggle with imposter syndrome. Our lives aren't like the blind people depicted in the movies. A photograph of a man holding a white cane and looking at his cell phone circulated on social media a month ago. The comments on the photograph all agreed the guy got caught faking it and the photograph exposed his deception.

I can see my cell phone. It's almost the exact size of my field of vision when I hold it at arm's length, and it emits its own light so I can read it even though I can no longer read a book. And I absolutely need a cane when walking through an airport or the plumbing aisle at the hardware store.

The guy in the picture could have been me. Does that mean I'm faking?

It's not an easy question.

I can pass for sighted in most situations. The waitress who served us Wednesday at Pam's Restaurant probably had no idea I couldn't see. Neither did the hotel staff or the people at the rest stops on our trip. I don't draw attention to my blindness when I don't need to.

But when we got back to San Antonio I had to spend the rest of the day in my bedroom with the blackout curtains drawn and the lights off to stop my eyes from aching after spending three days road tripping in the sunshine. I couldn't find my phone charging cord. I heard my wife sweeping the floor just five feet away from me but couldn't see her because I was looking just a foot to the left of where she was. I can't read a tape measure. I can't play most of my old computer games. I can't watch a movie in a theater and see more than about a quarter of the screen at a time, even if I'm sitting on the back row.

I may able to pass for sighted, but I that doesn't mean this hasn't impacted my life.

So am I faking it? If what you know about blindness is about as accurate as what you knew about Cleopatra and T-Rex, then yeah, you'd probably say I'm faking it.

By the definition of legal blindness, no, I'm not faking it. No DMV in America will renew my driver's license.

But those are outside definitions. What about my own definition? Do I think I'm really blind?

There isn't a yes or no answer. I'm going a little bit more blind every day. Today is darker than yesterday, and tomorrow will be darker than today. The word "blind" seems static, like once I'm blind that's it, it's already happened. But the reality is it's happening every day.

One of the more common posts we see on r/Blind is people getting injured because they can't navigate in public but don't feel blind enough to use a white cane. They face planted because they thought the stairway ended and they'd reached the landing. They sprained an ankle because the curb wasn't where they expected. They ended up in a ditch they couldn't see. They realize they'd be safer with a white cane but it seems like a step too far. They worry their family and friends will accuse them of faking it to get sympathy because they did just fine without a white cane the day before. They see white canes as something for blind people and they don't see themselves as blind yet. The people who write these posts on r/Blind may not realize it but they're asking people more blind than themselves for permission to use a white cane.

You have my permission. If it keeps you safe I'm not going to say you're not blind enough. If anybody gives you any grief about it tell them I said you could. What are they gonna do, wave protest signs at me?

Claim those parts of blindness you need to claim while seeing what you can still see. Blindness isn't an ON/OFF switch - most of us are somewhere in between - but the people who think you're either blind or you're not will put a label on you and accuse you faking it when you don't conform to their label.

It's okay. They're wrong. You can be blind enough to take what you need from the blind world without being so blind you need everything the blind world has. 

Don't conform to anybody else's label. It doesn't matter what they think, don't limit yourself just to fit their misconceptions about you. And don't endanger yourself, either. You have nothing to prove. To thine own self be true.