Phone Calls

Um, NASA? Um, hi. This is Layne. Hi. I've got this idea, yeah. It will do two things for ya, it will get teenage boys interested in outer space again and it will solve all your budget problems. You're gonna like this! Ready? So instead of sending astronauts into space next time send a couple porn stars. They can get it on in zero gee and you guys can live stream it at $19.99 a minute - Hello? Still there? Hello? 

Hello, is this Marvel Studios? Cool! Are you guys still lookin' for evil mutants? 'Cause I got this genetic mutation that made me go blind! For real! Um, superpowers? Um, uhh...

Hey Babe. I got through to the casting agent at Marvel but they wouldn't go for it. Said the casting call was for tough and ruthless, not rough and toothless. Jerks! Thanks, Hon. That's nice to hear. Love you too. See ya tonight! Bye bye!

Hello, this is Layne. Yes, this is he. You found it where? Man, that resume is like three years old! No, I'm blind. Yeah, blind. Really. About two years ago. Sounds like a fun job but I'm blind. No, I'm still blind no matter what you're offering. You're welcome. I hope you find somebody. Bye!

7 year old daughter: Daddy? I can't sleep. Will you do your evil laugh for me?

Me: Muhahahaha!

7 year old daughter: Thank you! Good night!


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